Get Over It

2:01 pm. Okay the library's been taken over by a grade 8 class. I hate it when classes come here. They're so loud. Not helping the headache much. Last entry I said I saw an end coming and yea it did. He didn't call it an end. I'll explain from the beginning. You know how I'm lik e, it's like I'm never happy with just normal situations. And yes it really appears that I didn't learn anything from my previous lessons. But apparently that's just the way I am. So I just kept getting mad at him for the littlest things. But it wasn't reall all me. He was convinced that I couldn't take his "jokes" which weren't that funny but rather insulting. I've had hims explode at me for a sarcastic or completely unserious remark as well. So what's his problem, getting mad at something that he does as well. So anyways, he said that he wanted a break from it. That we should be just really good friends for while. Well apparently, his idea of "really good friends" is not talking to me and hardly even wanting to talk to me when I start a conversation. So I just decided not to try any more. I've been brooding a lot about this. Thorooughly unhappy about the whole situation. But lately I'm just getting over it. Like, if he doesn't want to take the time to just care anymore then I'm done caring about him. Everything he said before, he was just trying to live up to it when he said that he'll still care and be friends with me. The reality is that he doesn't want to admit either to me or himself that what he said before isn't going to work out. That rather takes away any respect or esteem I could have held for him before. And his idea of really good friends is not at all appealing to me, and anyone who could call that "really good friends" is just in need of some help. Anyways, his stupid little jokes about doing stuff with other girls is just annoying. Like as if he just enjoys the effect he has by making people jealous. That just shows me that he's the kind of person who would cheat on his girlfriend. Anyways, so that's how things stand. I asked him if this "break" would ever end and he said it would but I don't believe him and I'm moving on. I refuse to just stand around and wait. I've done that enough for other people and I am not prepared to do it again. Family situation, my sister's been bugging me a lot lately. She doesn't do anything and whenever my parents talk to her about going out into the real world and getting a job or going back to school, she just breaks down and cries. Every single time. I'm really sick of watching her act like a complete baby and not doing anything but just play mmorpg games. She doesn't even have the thought that if she's not doing anything but staying at home, that she owes it to our parents to help out around the house and do some things. But no, the idea doesn't even occur to her. When my parents ask her to do something she just complains about having to do it. And she is so thoughtless in everything that she does. Like coupld days ago, my mom came home with fast food for dinner. And she just stands there, watching me take things out of the bad and opening the boxes. She should have been getting the plates or cups or even just moving the napkins to the table or something. But no, she just stands there like a dumb statue, staring at me. As soon as I'm done, she starts grabbing one and eating, leaving me to go get the plates and cups and napkins. And like two days ago, I came home from school. I walked the way so I came to the front door, and I knew she was home so I just rang the door bell. I get the mail out of the mail box and wait. She doesn't come down. I ring again and she still doesn't come down. So I had to go around to the garage and get in through there. It's not a big deal to do that, but what is the big deal is that she couldn't even bother to get up from her stupid chair. I get in and enter her room because I wondered if my mom took her out somewhere. No, she's sitting there playing her game. I ask her why the heck she didn't answer the door and she says defiantly, "I was running, if I stopped I would have died!" That just made me really angry. I am so sick and tired of watching her play her games. Yes, I know what it is like to be addicted to those games. I was addicted to it for a year and a half. But learning how to move away from it and practice will power over yourself and getting out in life...it's more important than your character dying in some game. She started the whol video game craze at the same time as me and she's still going strong on it. And she had WAY more time to play on it than me because she doesn't do anything BUT play that game all day. Finally yesterday my mom got her to hand out her resumes to hiring stores. But I will not stop being angry with her because of how she wasted over a year of her life like that and at our family's expense too. I'm also really angry with my parents. They treat us so differently I'm sick of it. When I was suffering from serious internal struggles and depression, my mom showed me no sympathy at all. She shouted at me, she hit me, she told me to get out of the house and told me that we would go to the police to officially disown me if I didn't smarten up. But now when my sister goes through her depression, my parents pamper her and leave her for a whole fucking year. Doesn't even shout at her either. The injustice of this really makes me mad and hinders me from showing her any sympathy at all. I know very well what it's like to go through those struggles. But I wasn't offered any consolement or pampering and I had to bear through the thing myself, and made it through with my will. Her lack of action just makes me sick. 2:38 pm and signing off.